Sunday, July 8, 2012

Cinema Insomnia, Part 1

So... I've learned not to get too hammered at your business partner's film premiere. He may not like it. And when he's a former member of both the Iranian and Chinese national wushu (martial arts) teams... well... let's just say I wasn't going to win any physical altercations that may or may not have occurred.

I learned very quickly not to talk shit about his directing abilities...

Some of you might have seen our fundraising video for "Dog" on Kickstarter the other day... well... somebody kinda big saw it, asked for the script, read it, and asked for a meeting. Wish me luck.

Many of you like to bitch and moan about my methods regarding the creative writing process... I believe I said last time that, "As long as my methods are working, quit complaining." I am reiterating now for good measure.

It's cliché to point out that one should never give up on dreams. So I'll do you a favor and not point at you.

Am I being an arrogant prick? Yep. Deal with it. My friends do. And they know I'm always there for them. Even if I rub their faces in it. Arrogantly.

True story: I usually introduce myself as "an asshole" and "the most boring person you'll ever meet."

My favorite response to "What do you drive?" = "Public transportation."

Complain about me all you will... but when you can claim I'm not simply being bluntly honest, I'll already be dead... and you'll still be a hypocritical idiot.

Don't get mad at anything I write unless the shoe fits. And even if it does fit, what do you care? I'm an arrogant prick, remember?

Don't piss me off, either. I'll hire wushu champ to kick your ass. And, despite all the tough-guy rhetoric that's screaming through your brain right now... you're well aware he can kick your ass. And most of your friends' asses.

Actually... piss me off all you like. You'll find it's rather difficult. And I won't really give a shit. Only my close friends can piss me off effectively, and they've earned that right by putting up with my shit... that list includes... Orion, Pete, Andrew, Joe, Jessica, Helen, Pat, and Shahaub. And some family members... but blood is supposed to drive one crazy.

I love making movies.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Art Among Egos: A List

It's been a weird year...

Whiny, hypocritical bitches (non-gender specific) make me laugh. And I've been laughing A LOT these days.

I once said "the rock star poets are all dead." I lied... Buy this chap book: Slow Dance with Sasquatch. Dude's amazing. And, no, that's not vanity-published... it's legit. He's being paid to tour the country. As you realize how much better he is than any of us are, ask yourself, How's that blog poetry working out for ya?

Don't tell me "you will." Fucking tell me "you did."

Remember that 1099 you got in the mail for that thing you wrote that you sold? Awesome feeling, wasn't it?

If you want to be one of the bosses, don't sit around waiting for the rest of us to tell you to do something.

I used to refuse to date actors... felt they were all fake... but given the relative fakeness of "normal" people, and the fact that actors are worse liars than "normal" people (for real), I no longer have this arbitrary rule.

You can, with all due respect, take your god and do whatever the fuck you want to do with him, her, it, them. Once you're no longer a whiny, hypocritical bitch, I might start acknowledging the potential validity of your rhetoric. Until then, however... I shall wear earplugs.

Pats on the back have not, to my knowledge, managed to pay anyone's bills.

A fanboy telling me he likes my work is like a homeless man telling me he likes my house.

Show me - don't tell me - what you can do before we start our journey. And damn sure don't try to tell me what you will eventually do. Tomorrow's only important insofar as we'll get there... provided we get shit done today.

As long as my methods are working, quit complaining.

Envy suits you. But you're still just as ugly.

Writer's write. And write. And write. And rewrite. And edit. And write. Wannabes skip the third and fourth things.

How can one worry about producing or publishing when one doesn't fucking do anything? When's the last time you submitted formally? Oh, you haven't? Then shut the fuck up. This shit is hard. Deal with it or find something else to do.

Failure should breed a desire to succeed. If it doesn't... find something else to do.

Don't blame anyone but yourself if someone is better than you are. Improve. That is all.

Never forget the vanity of your friends and enemies...

I'm gonna go laugh some more.

It's been a weird year.

Irreview, Book Review: The Nutshell Technique

I have, to date, read well over two dozen books on screenwriting and its related mediums (theatre, specifically).  While most - if not all -...